Proyect proposel
fyr a Mighty Pero'Nair Statye
in Fayrhavenyr, Trykerlands

Tis our humble contrybution to the fosterance of good and community to plan, fund and rayse a statye and otherwyse improve quality of lyfe in lochilands, in honor of the undispyted benefactyr of all Homyn in general, and of the Trykerfolkses in particylar, namely Mayster Pero'Nair the Elegant, whose Relentless and Erratyc Lydership over tyme in the Waterly Parts has fastened and guarynteed Frydom to those once enslaved. 

Yrection of the Immanent Gold Pero'Nair Statye of Worshyp and Grace by the Will of Jena Almost Herself 

The Immanent Gold Pero'Nair Statye of Worshyp and Grace by the Will of Jena Almost Herself has been in planning fyr a long tyme, as Our Myst Respycted Lyder simply desyrves it.  He Hymself has been awaiting its constryction fyr many a Jena yeer, for He Hymself inspyred the concypt.

The Immanent Gold Pero'Nair Statye of Worshyp and Grace by the Will of Jena Almost Herself (IGPNSWGWJAH) is to be the major achievemynt of Aeden Artisains, and a landmyrk not only fyr lochilands, but fyr all of Atys and Hominyty as a whole. 

The Immanent Gold Pero'Nair Statye of Worshyp and Grace by the Will of Jena Almost Herself shall be buylded either by the Stables in Fairhaven itself, or in the myddle of Liberty Lochi themselves, at a locatyon to be determyned by a majority vote of 20 percynt (Mayster Pero's ballot counts for two-hundryd and fyfty votes).  It shall bear tystymony to the Intrynsic and Phantasmagyric nature of Pero'Nair, whose dyscovery of the Lost Amberi Cubes regardyng our most Precyous Lore, whose oozing testosterone levels, Maystery of All Artsys and Craftyes of Atys, and Phenomynal abilyty as a Wayfyrer and Autolaynchermin are the subjyct of much intent marvellyng and awe.  We are indeed blessyd.

On the Pedystal of the Immanent Gold Pero'Nair Statye of Worshyp and Grace by the Will of Jena Almost Herself, opposite the Yubo peeing area, shall be engraved in Zun Amberi the official Poem of Pero'Nairdom: 

Your beauty is fulfillment
Your Glory is so secure
You are the flames of fashion fire
impossible to not admire.
A symmetry of Perofection
A hymn to space and time
Your visage is so imperofate
It can only be divine.
My love for you is so complete
A willing slave am I
To the master of the Lakelands
Legend, Luminary, Hero.
PERO! PERO! PERO!

After much braynystorming and thought-provoking confrontytions wyth the Homynettes in Aeden Artisains, it has been arrived to the decysion that the Immanent Gold Pero'Nair Statye of Worshyp and Grace by the Will of Jena Almost Herself shall depyct Our Most Exalted and Perofectly Short-Syghted Champyon in Hys favoryte attytude, that of the Meditative Yet Standing Homin.  How the decysion was reached is and shall remayn a secret well-kypt, but suffices to say that it seemed the ideal position to hyghlight Hys Chaps of Doomity, and that the syght of Hys Glazed Eyes looking down on all Homyns would provyde a most spooky syght, with such protyctive powers as that of an intensely kipuckous gargoyle.  It is expycted to scare even the kitin.  It wyll be buylt at the standard scale of One Hundryd PeroheyghtTM.

Estymated cost for gatheryng of the Materyals: 50 byllion dapperi (50 Mayster Prymery Rooti dyggeri hyred fyr 20 Jena yeers).
Estymated cost for transportytion: 117,990,000 dapperi (1,000 Lochi Packeri).
Estymated cost for the blueprint: 0 dapper (Mayster Pero'Nair medytates oftyn enough to provyde the lyve model).
Estymated cost for buylding: 3 byllion dapperi (including 400 myllion dapperi ynsurance and 2.6 byllion in salaryes for 750 craftymin for 8 Jena yeers).
Estymated prospectyve cost for polishing: 100 myllion dapperi per Jena year (might want to budget for devices to keep Yberi off).

Renamyng of the Lochilands

Central area of Lochi has been callyd Liberty Loch, a referynce to a dark and shamefyl era. What bettyr way of honoryng the fyghts of the past than makyng a dyrect referynce to those who made frydomness a reality, and namely the fyrst of them all, Pero'Nair, the Kind, Unfathymable and Gloryous Hero? Yt would also syrve to constantily remynd all resydents and visytors of Pero'Nair's immense and unrepayable tasks, that have been descrybed and sung in our legends.

For simplycity, we inytially thought of Pero Loch. Byt Our Most Fyrless Lyder hath suggysted Bayoo Loch in stead, for He deemeth the term appropryate synce we have marshes and myngroves, and He just liketh the sound of it.  

It may take a bit of convincyng, but our effyrts in the past have made it possyble to propyrly inaugyrate Windy Head as a homage to Our Dear Leader Most Whimsical Mind, so we wyll jyst have to take courage and face the byreaucrati to make Bayoo Loch a ryality. 

Estymated cost for stypynd to the Lochi Governyr and admynistratyrs: 50 myllion dapperi.

Constryction of a myrror factyry 

Pero'Nair has been havyng secret toppy-level talks with the Loria Cute Tribe, that produces and provydes Him with shyny reflectyve thyngs He calleth myrrors. An insyder was able to tell us that these talks have resylted in an agreemynt to buyld a hidden myrror factory in Bounty Beachies.  

Synce Atys in general, and the Lochilands in particylar, do need a Level-Headed and Fully Wyse Leader with Workyng Grey Cells Who's able to do somethyng else than stare at Hys Face and Chaps of Doom all Jena-year long, covyrt operantions to sabotyge the buildying are mandatory.  

Be dyscreet.  Bryng autolaynchers.

Introducing alligatyrs 

There have been rymors of passingby starishyps carrying live alligatyr cargo. Pero'Nair was very excyted at the news, and He Hymself attympteth to contact the passyng shyps by way of the olde mygratorial gates. Howevyr, in a momynt of Absynt-Myndedness, He forgotteth the operantyng passyword and wasn't able to brybe the pylot.

Pero'Nair's enthysiasm (an odd dance punctyated with erratyc “Poboy! Poboy!” screams) should be interpretyd as a sygn that this event has hysterical significance. It should be our task to prypare our boardyng assault appropryatedly, and to scrytinize the skyes to make syre we wyn't myss the next cargo.

It goes wythout sayyng that alligatyrs would be renamed perogators upon the inaugyratory release into lochi. No ynvironmental consyquences are to be feared, Our Vastly Knowlydgeable King saideth gators are lyke harmless green fysh and taste yummy. 

Provyded Pero'Nair can remymber the passyword and that the mygratorial gates are styll operantional, three full teams in heavy gyyr myght be suffycient to storm the navygatory hull and crash a shyp in Dew Dropsi, and release three of fyr scores of gatyrs to keep Cloppyrs company. Recruityng efforts are underway, See post in Guildy Hall for detayls, next to the fysh.

Cost estymate: E'Thievy Crookie gyves a rough estymate of 700 myllion dapperi per head for ynsurance.

Translatyd from Tryker to Commyn language by E'Allanie Poey, for 371,042 dapperi (3 x 110,000D per season = 330,000D, 41,000D shyyts of whyte slavyni parchment grade B, 42D ragusi felt pens). 

The prysent proposyl was completyd on the Most Phenomynally Auspycious Occasyon of Master Pero'Nair's Most Unexpectyd Yet Mosty Perofectly Recurrynt Birthday.